Crestfallen Angel/Ankle

Doctor : You have a grade 1 tear at your Archilles Tendon and a grade 2 tear at your ankle ligamen.

My heart: I don't care what you said, I am going running this Sunday.

Doctor: It requires at least 6 weeks of recovery. Run at your own risk.

My heart: You are over-exaggerating.

Therefore, after paying a bill amounting to RM440.00, I went to purchase an ankle guard and I was under the impression that all I need was 5 days' rest...and then after telling Sarge what happened...his exact words were: "Run this Sunday and wheelchair for the future." and  "Don't you f**king COBC or TRAFFFF".

All right. This seemed and sounded serious. So I was 'persuaded' to rest for one month. That was yesterday.

Today, I am feeling depressed. While driving to a meeting, it hit me that this must be one of HIS pranks on me again. I mean, seriously, to think about it...every time I found happiness in my life, HE took it away and sent me down the Depresssion Pit. I wondered whether I am Job and I have to go through all these just because HE has a wager with the Devil? So, fine, I took up running, something I could do by myself and didn't need HIS help...and there it goes again...sprained ankle and no running for at least a month!!! Seriously. One has no idea how important running meant to me. Running is an essential part of my life now. It's when I could go into this Void (which Haruki Murakami aptly put it in his book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running) and in a blissful solitude far away from all the miseries and sorrow. It's when I am in control of each step and each stride. I feel that I am alive when I run. Running is my anti-depressants. Running is the balancing scale in my life. Running is the gapping tool of the distance between me and myself. Running is my source of energy and my pillar of support. It's not about Personal Best time, it's not about the finisher medal, it's about I am able to run, as far as I want, as much as I want, as long as I want. It's my way of proving to HIM that no matter how HE push me down I will still climb up.

Seriously, it's not fun at all without running. But I suppose I need this rest so I can run a longer distance for a longer time in the future.