My Virgin 42.195 - Fur Elise

The Bridge I need to cross and come back

To most people, 42.195 may not mean anything.

To a runner, 42.195 is a benchmark. It is a distance a runner has to endure to cross the line from a runner to a marathoner.

To me, 42.195 is a milestone I set for myself. I have a thing to prove, not to others, but more to myself. So that I would continue to believe, “I can make it till the end”. So that just like how Pheidippides (the Greek messenger who first ran the distance of 42.195 from the battlefield of Marathon to Athens) announced at the end of 42.195 km “We have won”, I want to tell FATE that “I have won!”

Hence, in May 2011, barely a year after I started running, I registered myself for the Penang Bridge International Marathon 2011 on the first day it opened for online registration. Of course, since a full marathon is somewhat an unofficial consecration for runners, I was compelled to drag my fellow TRAFFFFians to participate in this consecration (or massacre?) together.  Therefore, Jo, Noor, James and I registered for our virgin full marathon respectively. After the registration and after our respective broadcast over facebook, there is no turning point. How exactly we were going to complete a full marathon without much training really, we had no idea. Every now and then, we kept asking each other “How are we going to do this?” and every few weeks we would randomly exclaim “We are going to die!!” The frequency of this kind of monologue and dialogue increased as the days drew closer to November.

I drove all the way to Penang alone on Friday morning. I needed solitude to have clarity of mind. I needed to assure myself that I would make it to the finish line. I roamed around Penang island carbo loading on my favourite dishes. I had my ritual coffee fix at Lighthouse Coffee. Seriously, with all the mouth watering street food available in Penang, I couldn’t find a better venue to do my first full marathon. My optimistic (or pessimistic) thinking was: If I collapse and die at the finish line, at least I would die with gastronomic satisfaction.

The Band of TRAFFFFians arrived in batches –James, Yam and Shear arrived on Friday midnight (or rather Saturday morning), Jo and Noor flew to Penang on Saturday morning, then Starge (Staff Sarge) Dann and Ody (also my ritual room mates) arrived in the afternoon. We ate and we ate and we ate.

Dua Bui's Curry Mee

Assam Laksa

Muar Chee

Lighthouse Coffee

Bangkok Lane Mee Goreng

Famous Apom

Yong Tau Foo

Jo's carbo loading menu include: 1 mee goreng, 4 assam laksa, 5 popiahs, 2 ice kacang, 4 apom, many goreng pisang, some kuih talam, etc all within 2 hours.

Goreng Pisang

Serious Bandage going on for my ankle

On the faithful Saturday night after carbo loading with pasta with Noor, Jo, and Alex, I tried to sleep but of no avail. By the time I managed to close my eyes and drifted into shallow unconsciousness, the alarm clock rang. I woke up and changed. Starge helped to bandage my ankle with Phiten tape. I wore the same outfit I wore last year for my first half marathon at PBIM. I took swigs of my triple shot espresso (which I specially ordered from Lighthouse and kept in the refrigerator) to ensure I had sufficient caffeine level to stay awake till morning.

In the room with my running family -Shear, James & Yam

James, me, Alex & Jo at the starting line

When the run was flagged off, I was fully pumped. I told myself that I had all the well wishes from my beloved friends. Mummy PC, mummy Viki, Joe, Uncle John, bestie etc were giving us all sorts of motivations and words of encouragement. I told myself that with my Hall of Shame at PNM, there is no room for another failure. Most importantly, I told myself that I needed to cross the finish line, get the medal and hold it high for Alice. The coming Monday would be her 59^th birthday if she were still alive. This is the place where she was born and where she grew up. I was pretty certain there she was somewhere up the sky looking down at me. Hence, I could not fail her. So I ran and I ran and I ran. I had this Power Run playlist I had been compiling for this full marathon and my running mood was synced with my song list. The weather was being so kind that night at 2 am. The weather on the bridge was superbly breezy that I got high at KM 15 and started humming a song. Then I saw Noor. He was struggling as he unfortunately suffered from legs cramp. I ran with him for a little while and told him not to give up no matter what happened. After the U turn at approximately KM 19, I discovered to my horror that the water station had ran out of water. For the subsequent 10km, I had to survive on the little water that was left in my handheld water bottle. When I saw the KM 21 marker, I thought to myself “What the heck I was thinking signing up for FM? I would have finished my run by now if it were a half marathon.” I saw Jo who stopped and started walking, I ran up to her and with whatever energy I could garnered from my remaining energy reserve I shot her an icy cold look and said “Don’t you dare stop! Run now!” I guessed I looked pretty awful when I said that to the extent that she sped off immediately after hearing that and I caught her looking back at me a few times and sped off every time she saw me. Before the run, a few marathoners told me about “a wall you would hit”, “probably at KM 30”, “maybe KM35”, so I was running and anticipating a complete breakdown anytime from KM 30 onwards. I was running and waiting and continued running but such wall never come. Perhaps I was too focused on completing the run. Perhaps I was too high on endorphins. Whatever the reason is, I am glad that I never hit a wall in my first virgin run. For the last 10km, my butt began to show signs of cramp and I stopped almost every km to stretch. 

At about KM38, I saw the break of dawn, and the sky beyond the sea suddenly dyed in hues of pinkish orange. I stopped and took a photograph and breathed in the moment. 

This is simply captivating

I made it!!

The last 4km was sheer pain physically. I had my last energy gel at KM 32 and at KM 38 I had no more energy left. I tried to gather speed but my legs were just not cooperating. I thought I was running faster but apparently my Garmin showed otherwise. Seriously, the last 4km seemed and felt like 10km. I was glad that one of the 10km Fun Run runner saw my bib and cheered me and a few other runners on. This is the thing that I love running so much. There is a tacit camaraderie between all runners. You may not know each other, but yet you know exactly what kind of feeling the other is going through. When you see a runner stop because of cramp, you stop and help. You cheer others on so no one give up and no one left behind. This is true sportsmanship. This is why I don’t give up running. I want to be part of this fraternity. I am proud to be part of this fraternity.

Finally – the last 1km. Tears began to form in my eyes. Rivulets of tears mixed with sweat flowed down my cheeks as I ran past the last roundabout and saw the finish line banner. I crossed the finish line in 5:47. I made it!!!!!! I ran frigging 42.195 km!!!!! I am finally a marathoner!!!!

This is something I categorized as “Impossibility” years ago. Now, I truly believe that “Impossible is Nothing – when you truly believe in yourself”.

For those who have faith in me: Thank you!!

For those who always doubted me and said things like “You can’t”: You can now go eat your own shit ;p

P/S: I didn’t limp after the run, which I thought I would.  I walked perfectly fine with my head held high.

Thanks Starge for your professional ankle bandaging. Thanks for my fellow TRAFFFFians who trained with me. Thanks bestie for your expensive ear phone (which you would subsequently claimed that I spoilt it).

Starge Dann & Ody

With Alex the Xtramiler

The Priceless Finisher Tee

The TRAFFFFians in TRAFFFF Signature Pose

The Celebration Drink

All the way from Perth - Jeannie

21 km on the 21st day of November 2010 at PBIM

21st November – My late mother’s birthday

Penang – My late mother’s birthplace

21 – my age when my mom passed away

2010 – marked the 10th year anniversary since my mom’s demise.

Hence, on 21st November 2010 I ran my first maiden half marathon (21 km) at the Penang Bridge International Marathon (PBIM) partly to kick start my training for a full marathon and mainly to commemorate my late mother. It would also be a running fiesta where many of my friends would take part in – Mike would be running his first 21km along with Jeffrey John (JJ), Chris, Zack (who ffked or chickened out last minute). So it would indeed be a meaningful run for all after all. Not to mention that many bootcampers – Rose, Nana, Ded, Armin, Nawal, Liza, Ryan, Joe, Badariah, Ody and Sarge would be running as well!!! Oh, and let’s not forget my cousin – Jeff Liew – someone who never even attempted a 10km run before but had the courage (and foolishness?) to sign up for his first 21km run. Last but not least – my running upline – Ms. Tai Ching would be running too….and also Tyng Chong, a Ms. Kiasu. In short, it is THE RUNNING CLIMAX of the year….for me at least.

On 19th November 2010, the first convoy to Penang consisted of Joe, Gan (my primary classmate), Mike and myself in my car. Mike and Joe had alternated the task of driving. Not that I refused to drive but I was actually detained and prohibited to take charge of the wheels due to my alleged speeding(?). We made the first pit stop at Ipoh to begin our food marathon, which commenced even before the real marathon began and which lasted even after the PBIM). The second convoy consisted of Sarge and Ody, who sped to Penang in Sarge’s new Sirocco 1234! Joe and Mike would be sharing a room together with Jeff while Sarge, Ody and me squeezed into our room for a rumoured threesome (;p).

JJ was supposed to fly from Brunei and scheduled to arrive at Penang airport in the evening to join us. However, being a smart ass he is, he didn’t book the connecting flight from KLIA to Penang and he had the audacity to tell me that “Babe, I couldn’t believe the flights were all fully booked”. I had to arrange alternative transportation for him to travel with Liza and Ryan the following day.

 Being a kiasu bunch of runners, we went for our ‘warm up’ run in the evening around Hotel Equatorial. According to Sarge, we need to get used to the 'air' in Penang. It was merely a 3.6 km run with lots of dramatic camwhoring moments. Thereafter, with the kind guidance of David (another primary classmate who is currently working in Penang and who would also be participating in the half marathon), we continued our food exploration in Penang. First, it was the Nasi Kandar Beratur next to Masjid Kapitan, followed by some Tandoori Chicken and Naan and Pasembur. The night ended with a stroll around Batu Ferringhi to burn off the calories (to no avail whatsoever).

The next day the remaining troops arrived. Everyone was out somewhere hunting for food. It appeared that PBIM was actually the sidelight while to revel in the food hunting/marathon was the real agenda. As far as the Equatorial group was concerned, we started out with some sinful nasi briyani etc etc, more sinful brownies, the not to be missed Cendol, Assam Laksa….I was not sure whether we were carbo loading correctly in preparation for the run but I was confident that we did our fat and weight loading in an overwhelming manner. With the arrival of Liza, Ryan, Liza’s two princesses and JJ, we proceeded to Nasi Kandar again as dinner before we retired for the night.

I had been feeling nervous the whole day about the run which was coming up anon. The issue was not so much about finishing the run. The issue was whether I could finish the run in my targeted time of 2:30…and preferably 2:21.

I only managed to doze off for maybe about 30 minutes the entire night. At around 1 a.m we departed to Queensbay Mall. Cladded in my 2XU compression pants, Addidas performance top, Saucony shoes and other gadgets, I looked like a ninja in black. Ody and Sarge were also cladded in all black and the sight of three of us walking side by side was simply – eccentric!

The flag off time for men half marathon was 3 a.m while for the women was 3.15 a.m. It was pit dark everywhere and I was at the brink of suffering a nervous breakdown. In fact, I went to the toilet twice before the run was flagged off. Be it as it may, I was ready when the horn was blown. I was pacing (trying to pace) behind Nawal at the beginning. I was feeling hyper-energetic with the full blast from my iphone. After a while, I lost sight of Nawal when she sped away like a bird. My mind was very focused – i.e. to pass as many male friends of mine as possible, and this thought really kept my spirit high as I had targets to chase after. To my amazement, I didn’t stop or even walk at all. Though my breathing was still heavy, I could actually breathe without much difficulty for the first time (thanks to the last minute & temporary quit smoking measures adopted just two weeks before the run). The ascending route up the Penang Bridge was not as intimidating as I thought. Despite the initial pain I felt on both shins, my legs were pretty numb after the 8th km and I mentally made a note to turn my legs on auto pilot mode. My main task was just to monitor my breathing, my heart rate and my willpower. I didn’t look at the time as I didn’t want any further pressure.

Then, it started to pour. The wind was so strong that I felt that I needed to fight against the wind in order to tread forward. I was extremely worried about my iphone and then I saw my cousin Jeff. I passed my phone to him (as he was carrying a big pouch) and continued running. The rain was perhaps a blessing in disguise as it cooled  my body temperature down. Nevertheless, there were extra weights on the body as well as on the feet. At that moment, I felt thankful to Sarge for making us run with sandbags, rifles and weight backpacks at OBC. It all made sense suddenly. Then I caught up with Ded and started running with him. It was nice to pace with someone I know especially when there was no music. Then I passed David, and then Mike, and I was feeling extremely good!!! I just kept on running without the desire to find out about the distance. I was so high on endorphins that I didn’t even bothered to stop at two drinking stations and just continued to speed. At one point, Ody, Ded and I were pacing together but we lost each other at the last water station when Ody went for the medical hut while I slowed down for water and Ded sped away. My feet hurt terribly by then while my shins were completely numb. I kept on telling myself that I must do this and mummy was watching, I have to reach the finishing line with pride. That was the last thought and element that kept me going and kept me running without stopping or walking at all. When I reached the roundabout which was approximately 500 meters away from the finishing line, I felt an inexplicable urge to cry but I managed to suppress and push back my tears because my kiasuness overcame my sensitivity. Instead of crying, I sprinted…unfortunately only for about 300 meters before I slowed down fearing that my heart was going to quit on me. I reached the finish line. Net time: 2:20:52. I made it!!!! I was in great pain, wet, exhausted, cold, exhilarated, and high at the same time. Joe, Nawal and Sarge were already waiting at the finish line.

There were more sidelights and stories with regard to this run, but that was for another day another time.

I just want to say this: Mum, I made it, and I still miss you.