My Running Chronicle: My Virgin 42.195

The Bridge I need to cross and come back

To most people, 42.195 may not mean anything.

To a runner, 42.195 is a benchmark. It is a distance a runner has to endure to cross the line from a runner to a marathoner.

To me, 42.195 is a milestone I set for myself. I have a thing to prove, not to others, but more to myself. So that I would continue to believe, “I can make it till the end”. So that just like how Pheidippides (the Greek messenger who first ran the distance of 42.195 from the battlefield of Marathon to Athens) announced at the end of 42.195 km “We have won”, I want to tell FATE that “I have won!”

Hence, in May 2011, barely a year after I started running, I registered myself for the Penang Bridge International Marathon 2011 on the first day it opened for online registration. Of course, since a full marathon is somewhat an unofficial consecration for runners, I was compelled to drag my fellow TRAFFFFians to participate in this consecration (or massacre?) together. Therefore, Jo, Noor, James and I registered for our virgin full marathon respectively. After the registration and after our respective broadcast over facebook, there is no turning point. How exactly we were going to complete a full marathon without much training really, we had no idea. Every now and then, we kept asking each other “How are we going to do this?” and every few weeks we would randomly exclaim “We are going to die!!” The frequency of this kind of monologue and dialogue increased as the days drew closer to November.

I drove all the way to Penang alone on Friday morning. I needed solitude to have clarity of mind. I needed to assure myself that I would make it to the finish line. I roamed around Penang island carbo loading on my favourite dishes. I had my ritual coffee fix at Lighthouse Coffee. Seriously, with all the mouth watering street food available in Penang, I couldn’t find a better venue to do my first full marathon. My optimistic (or pessimistic) thinking was: If I collapse and die at the finish line, at least I would die with gastronomic satisfaction.

The Band of TRAFFFFians arrived in batches –James, Yam and Shear arrived on Friday midnight (or rather Saturday morning), Jo and Noor flew to Penang on Saturday morning, then Starge (Staff Sarge) Dann and Ody (also my ritual room mates) arrived in the afternoon. We ate and we ate and we ate.

Dua Bui's Curry Mee

Assam Laksa

Muar Chee

Lighthouse Coffee

Bangkok Lane Mee Goreng

Famous Apom

Yong Tau Foo

Jo's carbo loading menu include: 1 mee goreng, 4 assam laksa, 5 popiahs, 2 ice kacang, 4 apom, many goreng pisang, some kuih talam, etc all within 2 hours.

Goreng Pisang

Serious Bandage going on for my ankle

On the faithful Saturday night after carbo loading with pasta with Noor, Jo, and Alex, I tried to sleep but of no avail. By the time I managed to close my eyes and drifted into shallow unconsciousness, the alarm clock rang. I woke up and changed. Starge helped to bandage my ankle with Phiten tape. I wore the same outfit I wore last year for my first half marathon at PBIM. I took swigs of my triple shot espresso (which I specially ordered from Lighthouse and kept in the refrigerator) to ensure I had sufficient caffeine level to stay awake till morning.

In the room with my running family -Shear, James & Yam

James, me, Alex & Jo at the starting line

When the run was flagged off, I was fully pumped. I told myself that I had all the well wishes from my beloved friends. Mummy PC, mummy Viki, Joe, Uncle John, bestie etc were giving us all sorts of motivations and words of encouragement. I told myself that with my Hall of Shame at PNM, there is no room for another failure. Most importantly, I told myself that I needed to cross the finish line, get the medal and hold it high for Alice. The coming Monday would be her 59^th birthday if she were still alive. This is the place where she was born and where she grew up. I was pretty certain there she was somewhere up the sky looking down at me. Hence, I could not fail her. So I ran and I ran and I ran. I had this Power Run playlist I had been compiling for this full marathon and my running mood was synced with my song list. The weather was being so kind that night at 2 am. The weather on the bridge was superbly breezy that I got high at KM 15 and started humming a song. Then I saw Noor. He was struggling as he unfortunately suffered from legs cramp. I ran with him for a little while and told him not to give up no matter what happened. After the U turn at approximately KM 19, I discovered to my horror that the water station had ran out of water. For the subsequent 10km, I had to survive on the little water that was left in my handheld water bottle. When I saw the KM 21 marker, I thought to myself “What the heck I was thinking signing up for FM? I would have finished my run by now if it were a half marathon.” I saw Jo who stopped and started walking, I ran up to her and with whatever energy I could garnered from my remaining energy reserve I shot her an icy cold look and said “Don’t you dare stop! Run now!” I guessed I looked pretty awful when I said that to the extent that she sped off immediately after hearing that and I caught her looking back at me a few times and sped off every time she saw me. Before the run, a few marathoners told me about “a wall you would hit”, “probably at KM 30”, “maybe KM35”, so I was running and anticipating a complete breakdown anytime from KM 30 onwards. I was running and waiting and continued running but such wall never come. Perhaps I was too focused on completing the run. Perhaps I was too high on endorphins. Whatever the reason is, I am glad that I never hit a wall in my first virgin run. For the last 10km, my butt began to show signs of cramp and I stopped almost every km to stretch.

At about KM38, I saw the break of dawn, and the sky beyond the sea suddenly dyed in hues of pinkish orange. I stopped and took a photograph and breathed in the moment.

This is simply captivating

I made it!!

The last 4km was sheer pain physically. I had my last energy gel at KM 32 and at KM 38 I had no more energy left. I tried to gather speed but my legs were just not cooperating. I thought I was running faster but apparently my Garmin showed otherwise. Seriously, the last 4km seemed and felt like 10km. I was glad that one of the 10km Fun Run runner saw my bib and cheered me and a few other runners on. This is the thing that I love running so much. There is a tacit camaraderie between all runners. You may not know each other, but yet you know exactly what kind of feeling the other is going through. When you see a runner stop because of cramp, you stop and help. You cheer others on so no one give up and no one left behind. This is true sportsmanship. This is why I don’t give up running. I want to be part of this fraternity. I am proud to be part of this fraternity.

Finally – the last 1km. Tears began to form in my eyes. Rivulets of tears mixed with sweat flowed down my cheeks as I ran past the last roundabout and saw the finish line banner. I crossed the finish line in 5:47. I made it!!!!!! I ran frigging 42.195 km!!!!! I am finally a marathoner!!!!

This is something I categorized as “Impossibility” years ago. Now, I truly believe that “Impossible is Nothing – when you truly believe in yourself”.

For those who have faith in me: Thank you!!

For those who always doubted me and said things like “You can’t”: You can now go eat your own shit ;p

P/S: I didn’t limp after the run, which I thought I would. I walked perfectly fine with my head held high.

Thanks Starge for your professional ankle bandaging. Thanks for my fellow TRAFFFFians who trained with me. Thanks bestie for your expensive ear phone (which you would subsequently claimed that I spoilt it).